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1. |
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Middle school no one thought I was cool
But now I’m hot enough to steal your man
All the dudes never thought I was cute
But now I’m hot enough to steal your man
I realized with a lot of surprise
That now I’m hot enough to steal your man
Yeah I’m hot enough to steal your man
But I’m not gonna steal your man
Hot damn god damn
Now I’m hot enough to steal your man
But I’m not gonna do that shit just cause I can
Take the time that I was hanging at the bar with my friends
But later on they told me something I could hardly expect
They said Alex you should watch out for so and so’s girlfriend
I think she’s jealous cause she thinks you two are flirting
She thinks you’re disrespectful, she says she feels resentful
I didn’t notice she was there, guess I was real neglectful
But really nothing could be further from the truth
I just fail to notice people other than myself, oops
See I thought that I was minding my business as a performer
But she thought that I was crossing a boundary and ignoring her (what)
Blindsided but in hindsight I’m pretty flattered
That people think I’m attractive enough to really matter
And think it conceivable that I could steal their men now
I can’t believe that women find me a threat now
Wow
Growing up I was ugly as fuck
But now I’m hot enough to steal your man
All the guys were averting their eyes
But now I’m hot enough to steal your man
I had to learn with a lot of concern
That now I’m hot enough to steal your man
Yeah I’m hot enough to steal your man
But I’m not gonna steal your man
Hot damn god damn
Ugly teenage phase yeah we’ve all been through it
The guys who didn’t date me baby all of them blew it
Couldn’t see past the glasses and acne and metal braces
Their faces when they see that I’m attractive would be amusing
But truly I’d rather have all this access to new pursuits
Cause the glow up has been real and the fact is I’m super cute
And after a show there’s always a couple that’s on a date
Watch them coming to the table with her arm around his waist
Like
Don’t worry baby girl, I'm not a homewrecker
I won’t approach your homie, he should really know better
I’ll let him make his own decisions he’s a grown man
Exercise his independence like only adults can
And, if I could steal him he ain’t worth your time
Find a dude who values you more than my stupid perfect rhymes
Though I sympathize if he can’t resist the enigma
Cause I’m balling like I’m rolling a 20 on my Charisma
Yeuh
As a teen I had low self esteem
But now I’m hot enough to steal your man
All the men gave me four out of ten
But now I’m hot enough to steal your man
I found out through my lingering doubt
That now I’m hot enough to steal your man
Yeah I’m hot enough to steal your man
But I’m not gonna steal your man
God damn
I’m not a scumbag Stacy I respect you, boo
And I respect your crusty homie standing next to you
But if you’re questioning your status and it’s making you lose it
Well then screw it, as a psych major I’ll talk you through it
See if you can’t talk about it in the open that’s some bad news
Miscommunication’s permanent like tattoos
So not exactly, but it hurts when you go back to fix it
So have an honest chat unless you’re into masochism
And to the men, well I think I understand
Why you consist of seventy percent of my fans
I can see you fricking thirsting, don’t you think that I can’t
I’m glad you dig the tunes but please do keep your dicks in your pants
But really
I’m hot enough but I haven’t grown out of feeling ugly
Change comes from within but also those who love me
So ladies talk to your man make sure that he’s in love with you
If I can steal him baby he ain’t good enough for you
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2. |
Hotel Bed
04:02
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Well it’s a Saturday night
and I’m looking to bone
Got a booty call on deck
But I don’t live alone
I got two strangers renting out the rooms in my home
And I don’t think they wanna hear me *moan*
So let’s go
Look around and find another place for us to sin
Somewhere we could really get our Comfort Inn
So let’s just pretend, that I got bucks to spend
They say luxury comes from within
We don’t need five stars, everybody knows that party’s a three
Well at least it’s far nicer than an AirBnB
From the Hilton Garden Inn to the TownePlace Suite
I’ll be sitting in your lap so we can bounce to the beat
We don’t need to stay Quiet in a Hyatt
We can ride it till the sun comes up
and completely in private
If you like it we can check in with a pocket of herb
Hang the sign up on the knob saying do not disturb
Uh
I’m not a millionaire that’s fine
My credit card won’t get declined
For reservations at the Homewood Suites baby
Tonight you’re looking oh so fine
I bet you know what’s on my mind
Getting freaky in two hundred fifty thread count sheets OH!
I ain't got a bed frame and I got roommates
So come on let's do it in a hotel bed
We'll be chilling on the couch sipping cherry Kool aid
Come on let's do it in a hotel bed
I ain’t got a day job so let's go on Tuesday
Come on let's do it in a hotel bed
We gon have a good time just me and you babe
Come on let's do it in a hotel bed
Out of everyone I’ve met
Baby you’re the Best Westerner
Give you three stars you’re an excellent expenditure
Numerous amenities that never get me bored
You’re so good that I’m LaQuin-ta give your member a reward
Sit me in a soft chair, massage my Crowne Plaza
It’s bound to get me going and flowing like hot lava
Throw a pillow on the carpet when I’m getting on my knees
Bring a friend and you can bet that I’ll be fisting DoubleTrees
Wrecked in a Westin,
Winded in a Wyndham
Carry On in a Clarion
To finish up our mission
Hitting all my Four Points
Waking up the whole building
With your sword
I can take it all the way up to the Hilton
So let’s pop champagne ‘cause it’s a Holiday
Let the troubles in our minds just fall away
But when it’s all said and done
I’mma give you fair warning
Oh my god, I’mma need a late checkout in the morning
I’m not a millionaire that’s fine
My credit card won’t get declined
For reservations at the SpringHill Suites baby
Tonight you’re looking oh so fine
I bet you know what’s on my mind
Taking showers with that medium water pressure BABEH
I ain't got a bed frame and I got roommates
So come on let's do it in a hotel bed
We'll be chilling on the couch sipping cherry Kool aid
Come on let's do it in a hotel bed
I ain’t got a day job so let's go on Tuesday
Come on let's do it in a hotel bed
We gon have a good time just me and you babe
Come on let's do it in a hotel bed
Check in, now check out
Check in, now check out
Check in, now check out
Check in, now check out
Check in, now check out
Check in, now check out
Check in, now check out
Everybody sing it now
Check in, now check out
Check in, now check out
Check in, now check out
Check in, now check out
Check in, now check out
Check in, now check out
Check in, now check out
That’s what we’re all about
I’m not a millionaire that’s fine
My credit card won’t get declined
For reservations at the Staybridge Suites baby
Tonight you’re looking oh so fine
I bet you know what’s on my mind
In the morning we’ll get continental breakfast BABEH
I ain't got a bed frame and I got roommates
So come on let's do it in a hotel bed
We'll be chilling on the couch sipping cherry Kool aid
Come on let's do it in a hotel bed
I ain’t got a day job so let's go on Tuesday
Come on let's do it in a hotel bed
We gon have a good time just me and you babe
Come on let's do it in a hotel bed
Yee!
All my Marriotts
All my Sheratons
All my Radissons
All my Hampton inns
I'll be back again
Ohh
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3. |
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Instant chemistry
When we exchanged our pleasantries
I feel in my extremities
That you’re all I wanted
Uh huh
And when you’re next to me
I knew I couldn’t let you leave
You’ll be the one to set me free
Cause I know you want it
Uh huh
Dance away from their jealous eyes
They don’t see what I see when they tell us lies
I’m the hit that you need just to feel alive
Like a brand new Lexus, take me for a test drive
But I can see that you’re hesitating
If you want something bad then it’s best to say it
But waiting for the moment really tests my patience
So let me tell you something in a special way
And that’s all I got left to say
I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces, pieces
I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces, pieces
I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces
‘Cause you’re always on my mind
Uh huh
You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces, pieces
You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces, pieces
You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces
If you ever feel so inclined
Uh huh
Am I too forward babe
I’m used to taking orders babe
Just know that I am yours to take
Cause you know I want it
And if it’s not ok
Just tell me and I’ll stop it babe
But all I ask is talk to me
If I’m all you wanted
I try hard just to read your mind
Got me staring at my phone like The Redesign
I’m just looking for a little bit of peace of mind
You’ll be the best damn thing that I leave behind
But here’s one last chance you can speak your truth
Think of all the crazy little things we could do
Slip away into the evening just me and you
At least I know, I don’t wanna play pretend
So I’m not gonna say it again
I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces, pieces
I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces, pieces
I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces
‘Cause you’re always on my mind
Uh huh
You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces, pieces
You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces, pieces
You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces
If you ever feel so inclined
Uh huh
I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces, pieces
I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces, pieces
I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces
‘Cause you’re always on my mind
Uh huh
You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces, pieces
You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces, pieces
You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces
If you ever feel so inclined
Uh huh
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4. |
Twenty-Six
03:39
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Even though I’m 26 inside my brain
Just the thought of 26 is quite insane
Thinking ‘bout my 26 is like I’m
Going in the basement
La la la
I don’t remember 26, maybe 27
It’s all the memories getting mixed up in every second
Well since the first it’s been a while, I’m guessing that’s expected
I don’t review it every night, that’s why I kept the records
I keep them hidden in places where only I can find them
Somewhere safe where all my great experiences can find asylum
Somewhere dark where all the awkward parts can lie in silence
Somewhere secret where the awful get their private island
I’m 26 but I don’t wanna turn 27
I’m hesitant to take a step in that direction
And every time I get an opportunity I drop it
Like a Pokemon evolving I’m hitting B and I stop it
Why?
Is it because I’m trying to fight it
Or because I look upon my future prospects with a prior bias?
I’m like a Midas in reverse, everything that touches me is turned to
Items in my verse while I search for gold lying in a hearse
Even though I’m 26 inside my brain
Just the thought of 26 is quite insane
Thinking ‘bout my 26 is like I’m
Going in the basement
La la la
After leaving Taiwan, I ventured vast lands
Getting reeled into the glamor of the jazz hands
I wouldn’t say I should’ve never a part of it
The art I did was key to my ascension in the master plan
But I left behind a broken heart that didn’t quite deserve it
Thinking’ bout it now gives me plenty more than a light disturbance
To wipe the burden from my mind I’ll light a furnace on that time
To move forward and come to terms that I did hurt him
Took a job that never jibed with my anxiety
On the other hand I acted crass and lacked propriety
It didn’t last a mini gasp of air
Deflated, Alex started
Looking downward, good mornings became a scant affair
Dating every everyman who found their way to me
Was getting quickly prosaic, regardless, did it aimlessly
Perhaps ashamed I’d never find better without some love attached
Maybe someday I’ll be satisfied with what I have
Even though I’m 26 inside my brain
Just the thought of 26 is quite insane
Thinking ‘bout my 26 is like I’m
Going in the basement
La la la
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5. |
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O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
Open your mouth like a pufferfish (aeugh)
Stick out your tongue to the floor (eugh)
Now cross your eyes like you’re lovin’ it
Now you can look like a whore (woo)
Ahe means panting or moaning (moaning)
Gao’s the word for your face (face)
But if you come wearing that shit on a hoodie
I’m spraying your weeb ass with mace
Calling all hentai enthusiasts
Or people who read eromanga
I know that you find it attractive
But not on your sweater that shit ain’t pajamas
There’s kids at this con you degenerates
Try bein’ a little considerate
Take all your shit to the section that’s over 18
Where you’ll see that the ecchi selection is infinite
O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
Well at first there was Belle Delphine
Making content for grandfathers (pedo)
Then we got all the edgy teens
Taking shots of her bathwater (ew)
Now the women with only fans
Make the face on their feeds
From TikTok to Roblox to Minecraft
It was quickly made into a meme
It’s ok, don’t be ashamed
If your o face doesn’t look quite the same
Everybody looks different when you’re blowing their brains out
And 3D girls? that’s all the rage now
Wow
So don’t be self conscious
Have fun and be honest
Orgasms demand no decorum
And lean into pleasure
But don’t feel no pressure
To act like an anime porn
O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
O Face
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
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6. |
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Don’t wanna have to ask
I want you to want it
Don’t want it half assed
I want you to want it
Don’t wanna have to ask
I want you to want it
Cause I want it
And what could be better than
Both of us wanting it
Uh
Lick it up, lick it down
Spin around the clit
Give it a little kiss and stick it in the slit
I like it when you want it, I don’t even have to ask
When you ask me “can I eat you?” and you wear it like a mask
It’s not a chore or task
You slurp it up and bask
In the flavors love to savor
Juicy pussy and some ass
You’re not like
“Hmm I think I’ll pass”
You’re the Windex on the glass
Spray it down and make it clean
Take your time and make it last
I want you to want it
All I want is consent
When you’re kissing my belly
Catch a whiff of the scent
You like the way it smells
You even like the pubes
You even like the blood
Catch me on a full moon
You’re the kinda guy that can’t wait to eat it up
When the pussy is cold you’re right there to heat it up
You’re relaxed and excited, you ain’t tryna speed it up
Got me flowing like an ocean, all the while you keep it up (wow!)
I don’t wanna ask
I don’t wanna beg
I want you to be happy
With my legs around your head
You wanna see my passion
You wanna see me spread
Get me open and exposed on the hotel bed
You’re going down
Going down town
You’re going down
Going down town
You’re going down
Going down town
If you’re sexy with your mouth
That’s what I’m about
You’re going down
Going down town
You’re going down
Going down town
You’re going down
Going down town
If you’re sexy with your mouth
That’s what I’m about
I want it all and I wanna see you go down
Want you to want it, it’s ok if you don’t know how
If you don’t want it just be upfront
And imma go find another dude who eats up cunts
Rra
So you’re going down a lot like an internet server
Try going down a little bit further
Unfamiliar but you’re a quick learner
You’ll be tossing salad like a sweet green server
Work your way down, start nice and slow
Or at whatever speed that I’d like you to go
Stroke the tiny rosebud give it time to grow
If it opens like a blossom then it’s time to go
Put your tongue into it, it’s a free for all
Get you spinning round the rim like a basketball
Call me Asian buffet I’m a festival
My favorite part's when I don’t have to ask at all
Eat ass with a passion get those ass cheeks clapping
Ask any millennial, that’s what’s in fashion
Drip drip hit me with the slick tip of the tongue
Flick and licking is the quickest way to getting me sprung (uh)
I don’t wanna ask
I don’t wanna beg
I want you to be happy
With my legs around your head
You wanna see my passion
You wanna see me spread
Get me open and exposed on the hotel bed
You’re going down
Going down town
You’re going down
Going down town
You’re going down
Going down town
If you’re sexy with your mouth
That’s what I’m about
You’re going down
Going down town
You’re going down
Going down town
You’re going down
Going down town
If you’re sexy with your mouth
That’s what I’m about
Don’t wanna have to ask
I want you to want it
Don’t want it half assed
I want you to want it
Don’t wanna have to ask
I want you to want it
Cause I want it
And what could be better than
Both of us wanting it
By the way if you ask "what’s in it for me"
I do return the favor and I promise no teeth
Keep it going all night, I got killer technique
And I’ll eat your fucking ass so good you can’t even speak
I'm going down
Going down town
I’m going down
Going down town
I’m going down
Going down town
Cause I'm sexy with my mouth
That’s what I’m about
We’re going down
Going down town
We’re going down
Going down town
We’re going down
Going down town
If you’re sexy with your mouth
That’s what I’m about
I want it all and I wanna see you go down
Want you to want it, it’s ok if you don’t know how
If you don’t want it just be upfront
And imma go find another dude who eats up cunts
Rra
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7. |
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All the basic boys say Fuck Nerds
I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd
All the basic bitches say Fuck Nerds
I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd
Fuccbois you don’t get shit
All the slim thick nerds got the best dick
We're the kids that you never accepted
Now the simps in the DMs obsessive
We’re in sixth grade giving sex lectures
All the kids in my class called me sex professor
Knew the names and the terms, how to wear protection
Only using anatomically correct expressions (Like dick)
Fuck nerds are anomalies and prodigies
Making girls squirt with the knowledge of biology
When we talk dirty well it’s gotta be quality
‘Cause we know the most words in the glossary of sodomy (Ooh)
I got the drip and
My enemies trippin’
‘Cause listeners simpin’ on me (Yee)
I seek a specific
A geek or a misfit's
The key to unzipping my jeans
All the basic boys say Fuck Nerds
I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd
All the basic bitches say Fuck Nerds
I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd
All the basic boys say Fuck Nerds
I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd
All the basic bitches say Fuck Nerds
I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd
The internet’s given us perverted bitches more options than ever before
If I find a ship that I’m digging I’m surfin on paheal for rule 34
If the image is missing I can’t go on Tumblr no more
Because Tumblr is dead
Never the quitter we pivot to Twitter and Iiterature porn on AO3 instead
Fandoms and fanfictions
Dank memes and crackshipping
Thirst posting hoes gather round
We gon write the sounds of two pants unzipping
Call us fuck nerds ‘cause we’re nerds for fuck
See you at the next con we’ll be turning up
And to all the fuccbois and the basic bitches
You could be a fuck nerd if you learn enough
All the basic boys say Fuck Nerds
I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd
All the basic bitches say Fuck Nerds
I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd
All the basic boys say Fuck Nerds
I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd
All the basic bitches say Fuck Nerds
I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd
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8. |
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Yo
I got a big butt
But I’m not bragging
Cause back in Taiwan that was a bad thing
See in Asia, small asses are the preference
And that was where I had to establish my point of reference
I met with many impediments from my back end
Among my circle, definitely the fat friend
But that said, there’s an excellent chance
I still can’t fit in Asian size XL pants
But when I moved to New York, damn, it opened my mind
Cause as it turned out, my behind was Brooklyn-sized
And to add another fact I didn’t know at the time
In America, Asians with butts are harder to find
And there I had it, my massive ass became a massive asset
Due to that I’m not embarrassed to have a booty like two planets
So do the math on universal gravitation
Attraction is proportional to gluteal maximation
I got Asian American beauty
Asian American booty
Asian American beauty
Asian American booty
Asian American beauty
Asian American booty
Asian American beauty
Asian American booty
It’s ok y’all, you can sing along, you don’t have to be Asian
But this is not another song that’s all about the bass
Anacondas, apple bottom jeans and tiny waists
This goes out to all the people feeling out of place
Whose bodies don’t comply to ideals dictated by their race
I got a yellow face, but my eyes are circle shaped
which aided in averting the stereotypes and hurtful names
As Asian Americans we reside in a certain space
Between dominant thought and the culture from which our fathers came
The latter where it’s commonplace to be bodyshamed
And the former where Americans think we’re all the same
With that butts and chests, but that’s just a perception
Asian girls are curvy too but that’s seen as an imperfection
Skin whitening creams for a lighter complexion
Lids under the knife for an eye widening section
But to people subjected to double standards of beauty
My answer is fuck the status quo, you know you’re a cutie
Cause you got
Asian American beauty
Asian American booty
Asian American beauty
Asian American booty
Asian American beauty
Asian American booty
Asian American beauty
Asian American booty
Anybody want some boba? Ew Alex, that’s disgusting
You got a bubble tea butt, and cute proportions
I got some motherfucking barbeque pork buns
You got some bust, in my country they call it pobas
My chest is flatter than the bottom half of North Dakota
I know it’s hard to celebrate what you got
But I promise that you deserve to be hot, Asian or not
And famous or not, our bodies are not to be forgotten
So love yourself, you’re beautiful from the top to the bottom
You got
Asian American beauty
Asian American booty
Asian American beauty
Asian American booty
Asian American beauty
Asian American booty
Asian American beauty
Asian American booty
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LEX the Lexicon Artist New York, New York
LEX the Lexicon Artist combines Internet culture, fandom, punk ethos, and shock humor (not the mean kind) to create an over-the-top explosion of nerdy, dirty, funny raps.
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