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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Lex and the City

by LEX the Lexicon Artist

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1.
Middle school no one thought I was cool But now I’m hot enough to steal your man All the dudes never thought I was cute But now I’m hot enough to steal your man I realized with a lot of surprise That now I’m hot enough to steal your man Yeah I’m hot enough to steal your man But I’m not gonna steal your man Hot damn god damn Now I’m hot enough to steal your man But I’m not gonna do that shit just cause I can Take the time that I was hanging at the bar with my friends But later on they told me something I could hardly expect They said Alex you should watch out for so and so’s girlfriend I think she’s jealous cause she thinks you two are flirting She thinks you’re disrespectful, she says she feels resentful I didn’t notice she was there, guess I was real neglectful But really nothing could be further from the truth I just fail to notice people other than myself, oops See I thought that I was minding my business as a performer But she thought that I was crossing a boundary and ignoring her (what) Blindsided but in hindsight I’m pretty flattered That people think I’m attractive enough to really matter And think it conceivable that I could steal their men now I can’t believe that women find me a threat now Wow Growing up I was ugly as fuck But now I’m hot enough to steal your man All the guys were averting their eyes But now I’m hot enough to steal your man I had to learn with a lot of concern That now I’m hot enough to steal your man Yeah I’m hot enough to steal your man But I’m not gonna steal your man Hot damn god damn Ugly teenage phase yeah we’ve all been through it The guys who didn’t date me baby all of them blew it Couldn’t see past the glasses and acne and metal braces Their faces when they see that I’m attractive would be amusing But truly I’d rather have all this access to new pursuits Cause the glow up has been real and the fact is I’m super cute And after a show there’s always a couple that’s on a date Watch them coming to the table with her arm around his waist Like Don’t worry baby girl, I'm not a homewrecker I won’t approach your homie, he should really know better I’ll let him make his own decisions he’s a grown man Exercise his independence like only adults can And, if I could steal him he ain’t worth your time Find a dude who values you more than my stupid perfect rhymes Though I sympathize if he can’t resist the enigma Cause I’m balling like I’m rolling a 20 on my Charisma Yeuh As a teen I had low self esteem But now I’m hot enough to steal your man All the men gave me four out of ten But now I’m hot enough to steal your man I found out through my lingering doubt That now I’m hot enough to steal your man Yeah I’m hot enough to steal your man But I’m not gonna steal your man God damn I’m not a scumbag Stacy I respect you, boo And I respect your crusty homie standing next to you But if you’re questioning your status and it’s making you lose it Well then screw it, as a psych major I’ll talk you through it See if you can’t talk about it in the open that’s some bad news Miscommunication’s permanent like tattoos So not exactly, but it hurts when you go back to fix it So have an honest chat unless you’re into masochism And to the men, well I think I understand Why you consist of seventy percent of my fans I can see you fricking thirsting, don’t you think that I can’t I’m glad you dig the tunes but please do keep your dicks in your pants But really I’m hot enough but I haven’t grown out of feeling ugly Change comes from within but also those who love me So ladies talk to your man make sure that he’s in love with you If I can steal him baby he ain’t good enough for you
2.
Hotel Bed 04:02
Well it’s a Saturday night and I’m looking to bone Got a booty call on deck But I don’t live alone I got two strangers renting out the rooms in my home And I don’t think they wanna hear me *moan* So let’s go Look around and find another place for us to sin Somewhere we could really get our Comfort Inn So let’s just pretend, that I got bucks to spend They say luxury comes from within We don’t need five stars, everybody knows that party’s a three Well at least it’s far nicer than an AirBnB From the Hilton Garden Inn to the TownePlace Suite I’ll be sitting in your lap so we can bounce to the beat We don’t need to stay Quiet in a Hyatt We can ride it till the sun comes up and completely in private If you like it we can check in with a pocket of herb Hang the sign up on the knob saying do not disturb Uh I’m not a millionaire that’s fine My credit card won’t get declined For reservations at the Homewood Suites baby Tonight you’re looking oh so fine I bet you know what’s on my mind Getting freaky in two hundred fifty thread count sheets OH! I ain't got a bed frame and I got roommates So come on let's do it in a hotel bed We'll be chilling on the couch sipping cherry Kool aid Come on let's do it in a hotel bed I ain’t got a day job so let's go on Tuesday Come on let's do it in a hotel bed We gon have a good time just me and you babe Come on let's do it in a hotel bed Out of everyone I’ve met Baby you’re the Best Westerner Give you three stars you’re an excellent expenditure Numerous amenities that never get me bored You’re so good that I’m LaQuin-ta give your member a reward Sit me in a soft chair, massage my Crowne Plaza It’s bound to get me going and flowing like hot lava Throw a pillow on the carpet when I’m getting on my knees Bring a friend and you can bet that I’ll be fisting DoubleTrees Wrecked in a Westin, Winded in a Wyndham Carry On in a Clarion To finish up our mission Hitting all my Four Points Waking up the whole building With your sword I can take it all the way up to the Hilton So let’s pop champagne ‘cause it’s a Holiday Let the troubles in our minds just fall away But when it’s all said and done I’mma give you fair warning Oh my god, I’mma need a late checkout in the morning I’m not a millionaire that’s fine My credit card won’t get declined For reservations at the SpringHill Suites baby Tonight you’re looking oh so fine I bet you know what’s on my mind Taking showers with that medium water pressure BABEH I ain't got a bed frame and I got roommates So come on let's do it in a hotel bed We'll be chilling on the couch sipping cherry Kool aid Come on let's do it in a hotel bed I ain’t got a day job so let's go on Tuesday Come on let's do it in a hotel bed We gon have a good time just me and you babe Come on let's do it in a hotel bed Check in, now check out Check in, now check out Check in, now check out Check in, now check out Check in, now check out Check in, now check out Check in, now check out Everybody sing it now Check in, now check out Check in, now check out Check in, now check out Check in, now check out Check in, now check out Check in, now check out Check in, now check out That’s what we’re all about I’m not a millionaire that’s fine My credit card won’t get declined For reservations at the Staybridge Suites baby Tonight you’re looking oh so fine I bet you know what’s on my mind In the morning we’ll get continental breakfast BABEH I ain't got a bed frame and I got roommates So come on let's do it in a hotel bed We'll be chilling on the couch sipping cherry Kool aid Come on let's do it in a hotel bed I ain’t got a day job so let's go on Tuesday Come on let's do it in a hotel bed We gon have a good time just me and you babe Come on let's do it in a hotel bed Yee! All my Marriotts All my Sheratons All my Radissons All my Hampton inns I'll be back again Ohh
3.
Instant chemistry When we exchanged our pleasantries I feel in my extremities That you’re all I wanted Uh huh And when you’re next to me I knew I couldn’t let you leave You’ll be the one to set me free Cause I know you want it Uh huh Dance away from their jealous eyes They don’t see what I see when they tell us lies I’m the hit that you need just to feel alive Like a brand new Lexus, take me for a test drive But I can see that you’re hesitating If you want something bad then it’s best to say it But waiting for the moment really tests my patience So let me tell you something in a special way And that’s all I got left to say I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces, pieces I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces, pieces I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces ‘Cause you’re always on my mind Uh huh You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces, pieces You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces, pieces You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces If you ever feel so inclined Uh huh Am I too forward babe I’m used to taking orders babe Just know that I am yours to take Cause you know I want it And if it’s not ok Just tell me and I’ll stop it babe But all I ask is talk to me If I’m all you wanted I try hard just to read your mind Got me staring at my phone like The Redesign I’m just looking for a little bit of peace of mind You’ll be the best damn thing that I leave behind But here’s one last chance you can speak your truth Think of all the crazy little things we could do Slip away into the evening just me and you At least I know, I don’t wanna play pretend So I’m not gonna say it again I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces, pieces I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces, pieces I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces ‘Cause you’re always on my mind Uh huh You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces, pieces You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces, pieces You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces If you ever feel so inclined Uh huh I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces, pieces I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces, pieces I wanna f*** you to pieces, pieces ‘Cause you’re always on my mind Uh huh You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces, pieces You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces, pieces You wanna f*** me to pieces, pieces If you ever feel so inclined Uh huh
4.
Twenty-Six 03:39
Even though I’m 26 inside my brain Just the thought of 26 is quite insane Thinking ‘bout my 26 is like I’m Going in the basement La la la I don’t remember 26, maybe 27 It’s all the memories getting mixed up in every second Well since the first it’s been a while, I’m guessing that’s expected I don’t review it every night, that’s why I kept the records I keep them hidden in places where only I can find them Somewhere safe where all my great experiences can find asylum Somewhere dark where all the awkward parts can lie in silence Somewhere secret where the awful get their private island I’m 26 but I don’t wanna turn 27 I’m hesitant to take a step in that direction And every time I get an opportunity I drop it Like a Pokemon evolving I’m hitting B and I stop it Why? Is it because I’m trying to fight it Or because I look upon my future prospects with a prior bias? I’m like a Midas in reverse, everything that touches me is turned to Items in my verse while I search for gold lying in a hearse Even though I’m 26 inside my brain Just the thought of 26 is quite insane Thinking ‘bout my 26 is like I’m Going in the basement La la la After leaving Taiwan, I ventured vast lands Getting reeled into the glamor of the jazz hands I wouldn’t say I should’ve never a part of it The art I did was key to my ascension in the master plan But I left behind a broken heart that didn’t quite deserve it Thinking’ bout it now gives me plenty more than a light disturbance To wipe the burden from my mind I’ll light a furnace on that time To move forward and come to terms that I did hurt him Took a job that never jibed with my anxiety On the other hand I acted crass and lacked propriety It didn’t last a mini gasp of air Deflated, Alex started Looking downward, good mornings became a scant affair Dating every everyman who found their way to me Was getting quickly prosaic, regardless, did it aimlessly Perhaps ashamed I’d never find better without some love attached Maybe someday I’ll be satisfied with what I have Even though I’m 26 inside my brain Just the thought of 26 is quite insane Thinking ‘bout my 26 is like I’m Going in the basement La la la
5.
O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) Open your mouth like a pufferfish (aeugh) Stick out your tongue to the floor (eugh) Now cross your eyes like you’re lovin’ it Now you can look like a whore (woo) Ahe means panting or moaning (moaning) Gao’s the word for your face (face) But if you come wearing that shit on a hoodie I’m spraying your weeb ass with mace Calling all hentai enthusiasts Or people who read eromanga I know that you find it attractive But not on your sweater that shit ain’t pajamas There’s kids at this con you degenerates Try bein’ a little considerate Take all your shit to the section that’s over 18 Where you’ll see that the ecchi selection is infinite O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) Well at first there was Belle Delphine Making content for grandfathers (pedo) Then we got all the edgy teens Taking shots of her bathwater (ew) Now the women with only fans Make the face on their feeds From TikTok to Roblox to Minecraft It was quickly made into a meme It’s ok, don’t be ashamed If your o face doesn’t look quite the same Everybody looks different when you’re blowing their brains out And 3D girls? that’s all the rage now Wow So don’t be self conscious Have fun and be honest Orgasms demand no decorum And lean into pleasure But don’t feel no pressure To act like an anime porn O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) O Face That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face) That’s that Ahegao Face (Gao Face)
6.
Don’t wanna have to ask I want you to want it Don’t want it half assed I want you to want it Don’t wanna have to ask I want you to want it Cause I want it And what could be better than Both of us wanting it Uh Lick it up, lick it down Spin around the clit Give it a little kiss and stick it in the slit I like it when you want it, I don’t even have to ask When you ask me “can I eat you?” and you wear it like a mask It’s not a chore or task You slurp it up and bask In the flavors love to savor Juicy pussy and some ass You’re not like “Hmm I think I’ll pass” You’re the Windex on the glass Spray it down and make it clean Take your time and make it last I want you to want it All I want is consent When you’re kissing my belly Catch a whiff of the scent You like the way it smells You even like the pubes You even like the blood Catch me on a full moon You’re the kinda guy that can’t wait to eat it up When the pussy is cold you’re right there to heat it up You’re relaxed and excited, you ain’t tryna speed it up Got me flowing like an ocean, all the while you keep it up (wow!) I don’t wanna ask I don’t wanna beg I want you to be happy With my legs around your head You wanna see my passion You wanna see me spread Get me open and exposed on the hotel bed You’re going down Going down town You’re going down Going down town You’re going down Going down town If you’re sexy with your mouth That’s what I’m about You’re going down Going down town You’re going down Going down town You’re going down Going down town If you’re sexy with your mouth That’s what I’m about I want it all and I wanna see you go down Want you to want it, it’s ok if you don’t know how If you don’t want it just be upfront And imma go find another dude who eats up cunts Rra So you’re going down a lot like an internet server Try going down a little bit further Unfamiliar but you’re a quick learner You’ll be tossing salad like a sweet green server Work your way down, start nice and slow Or at whatever speed that I’d like you to go Stroke the tiny rosebud give it time to grow If it opens like a blossom then it’s time to go Put your tongue into it, it’s a free for all Get you spinning round the rim like a basketball Call me Asian buffet I’m a festival My favorite part's when I don’t have to ask at all Eat ass with a passion get those ass cheeks clapping Ask any millennial, that’s what’s in fashion Drip drip hit me with the slick tip of the tongue Flick and licking is the quickest way to getting me sprung (uh) I don’t wanna ask I don’t wanna beg I want you to be happy With my legs around your head You wanna see my passion You wanna see me spread Get me open and exposed on the hotel bed You’re going down Going down town You’re going down Going down town You’re going down Going down town If you’re sexy with your mouth That’s what I’m about You’re going down Going down town You’re going down Going down town You’re going down Going down town If you’re sexy with your mouth That’s what I’m about Don’t wanna have to ask I want you to want it Don’t want it half assed I want you to want it Don’t wanna have to ask I want you to want it Cause I want it And what could be better than Both of us wanting it By the way if you ask "what’s in it for me" I do return the favor and I promise no teeth Keep it going all night, I got killer technique And I’ll eat your fucking ass so good you can’t even speak I'm going down Going down town I’m going down Going down town I’m going down Going down town Cause I'm sexy with my mouth That’s what I’m about We’re going down Going down town We’re going down Going down town We’re going down Going down town If you’re sexy with your mouth That’s what I’m about I want it all and I wanna see you go down Want you to want it, it’s ok if you don’t know how If you don’t want it just be upfront And imma go find another dude who eats up cunts Rra
7.
All the basic boys say Fuck Nerds I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd All the basic bitches say Fuck Nerds I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd Fuccbois you don’t get shit All the slim thick nerds got the best dick We're the kids that you never accepted Now the simps in the DMs obsessive We’re in sixth grade giving sex lectures All the kids in my class called me sex professor Knew the names and the terms, how to wear protection Only using anatomically correct expressions (Like dick) Fuck nerds are anomalies and prodigies Making girls squirt with the knowledge of biology When we talk dirty well it’s gotta be quality ‘Cause we know the most words in the glossary of sodomy (Ooh) I got the drip and My enemies trippin’ ‘Cause listeners simpin’ on me (Yee) I seek a specific A geek or a misfit's The key to unzipping my jeans All the basic boys say Fuck Nerds I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd All the basic bitches say Fuck Nerds I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd All the basic boys say Fuck Nerds I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd All the basic bitches say Fuck Nerds I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd The internet’s given us perverted bitches more options than ever before If I find a ship that I’m digging I’m surfin on paheal for rule 34 If the image is missing I can’t go on Tumblr no more Because Tumblr is dead Never the quitter we pivot to Twitter and Iiterature porn on AO3 instead Fandoms and fanfictions Dank memes and crackshipping Thirst posting hoes gather round We gon write the sounds of two pants unzipping Call us fuck nerds ‘cause we’re nerds for fuck See you at the next con we’ll be turning up And to all the fuccbois and the basic bitches You could be a fuck nerd if you learn enough All the basic boys say Fuck Nerds I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd All the basic bitches say Fuck Nerds I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd All the basic boys say Fuck Nerds I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd All the basic bitches say Fuck Nerds I only fuck nerds. I’m a Fuck Nerd
8.
Yo I got a big butt But I’m not bragging Cause back in Taiwan that was a bad thing See in Asia, small asses are the preference And that was where I had to establish my point of reference I met with many impediments from my back end Among my circle, definitely the fat friend But that said, there’s an excellent chance I still can’t fit in Asian size XL pants But when I moved to New York, damn, it opened my mind Cause as it turned out, my behind was Brooklyn-sized And to add another fact I didn’t know at the time In America, Asians with butts are harder to find And there I had it, my massive ass became a massive asset Due to that I’m not embarrassed to have a booty like two planets So do the math on universal gravitation Attraction is proportional to gluteal maximation I got Asian American beauty Asian American booty Asian American beauty Asian American booty Asian American beauty Asian American booty Asian American beauty Asian American booty It’s ok y’all, you can sing along, you don’t have to be Asian But this is not another song that’s all about the bass Anacondas, apple bottom jeans and tiny waists This goes out to all the people feeling out of place Whose bodies don’t comply to ideals dictated by their race I got a yellow face, but my eyes are circle shaped which aided in averting the stereotypes and hurtful names As Asian Americans we reside in a certain space Between dominant thought and the culture from which our fathers came The latter where it’s commonplace to be bodyshamed And the former where Americans think we’re all the same With that butts and chests, but that’s just a perception Asian girls are curvy too but that’s seen as an imperfection Skin whitening creams for a lighter complexion Lids under the knife for an eye widening section But to people subjected to double standards of beauty My answer is fuck the status quo, you know you’re a cutie Cause you got Asian American beauty Asian American booty Asian American beauty Asian American booty Asian American beauty Asian American booty Asian American beauty Asian American booty Anybody want some boba? Ew Alex, that’s disgusting You got a bubble tea butt, and cute proportions I got some motherfucking barbeque pork buns You got some bust, in my country they call it pobas My chest is flatter than the bottom half of North Dakota I know it’s hard to celebrate what you got But I promise that you deserve to be hot, Asian or not And famous or not, our bodies are not to be forgotten So love yourself, you’re beautiful from the top to the bottom You got Asian American beauty Asian American booty Asian American beauty Asian American booty Asian American beauty Asian American booty Asian American beauty Asian American booty

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Unleash your inner freak. Time to get horny on main.

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released October 30, 2020

Mixed and mastered by Mono no Audio
www.mononoaudio.com

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LEX the Lexicon Artist New York, New York

LEX the Lexicon Artist combines Internet culture, fandom, punk ethos, and shock humor (not the mean kind) to create an over-the-top explosion of nerdy, dirty, funny raps.

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