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The Umbrella Academy Cypher

by LEX the Lexicon Artist

/

about

Umbrella Academy but make it rap.

Feat. Beefy, Crossover, Prowess The Testament, Schaffer the Darklord, Freeced, Super Smack, and MC Frontalot

Produced by Rifti Beats

lyrics

[Number 1 - Beefy]

Number one in your hearts
number one in your minds
and I thought number one to my pops
hard to buy shirts packing all of this girth
cause you've gotta be strong
when you're rocking these chops
I'm a chimp out in space I ain't seen a kind face
ever since the day I was packed up and shipped out
Lacking for charm, got these Cutty Flam arms,
a yo but spreading a rumor is what i'm about
must seem like I hate joy, enough of that lame ploy,
how bout let's hear it for space boy
breaking these chains boy, every day boy,
we ran outta time here to play coy
Follow me I'll get you home,
I'd rather be here than still staying alone
three's company got me trippin for sho
how could your words hurt me when I'm made so strong

[Number 2 - Crossover]

Yo what's crackin' yo what's Kraken (Me)
What's the dealy in Dallas what's happening
Go diego go to the maximum
Let's drink to mom she was a real one
I don't give a damn about what Luther said
I'm gonna use my knives then I use my head
Now peep game when I say I’m like NWA
Fuck the police, well Dora anyway
Compare me to the dark knight (hockey pads)
Fine when the times right I will save this timeline
Throwing these knives like a hard right in a fist fight
Number 1 is a bitch riiiight (woo)
They say I'm like batman but you gotta aim lower
I may fling daggers but I am a rapping flame thrower
Bumpin in your range rover it's done when I say so
I did this whole verse in one breath, it's game over

[Chorus]

From the weak to the strong
We’ll protect what is right
All the rumors were wrong
‘Cause we won’t die tonight

At the end of the world
You will still be my family
And we will always be
The Umbrella Academy

From the weak to the strong
We’ll protect what is right
All the rumors were wrong
‘Cause we won’t die tonight

At the end of the world
You will still be my family
And we will always be
The Umbrella Academy

[Number 3 - Prowess The Testament]
I heard a rumor that they wanted to debate me,
One take a breakbeat, can’t phase me,
Wonder why all they hate me, maybe it’s the way that I persuade thee,
Just prefacing your innate genes...
Do it all for the movement, in the booth where I school ‘em,
Doling out lessons when I rule ‘em,
I was just blessed to be fluent, none congruent,
Leave a room in ruins, might get gruesome...
Don’t go assuming, foolishly pursuing, wanna test, uh you a shoo-in,

Whisper in your ear, blow your brains with amusement, that’s an improvement,
Influence your crew men, fuck with the brethren, that’s an execution,
Ask Luther, I am good with the maneuvers, spew a suggestion,
Press yes men to a specimen, leave more L’s signs than less thans//

[Number 4 - Schaffer the Darklord]
One to the two to the three to the four
Even when I’ve had enough, I’ma need a little more
Just to keep closed doors to the ghosts in my attic
Act hardcore but I’m mostly an addict
Got a lot of problems that I brought into the room
Started from the bottom with some trauma in a tomb
Doomed from day one a troubled youngster
To a full-grown fun-loving substance dumpster
Death is present everywhere, love is in the past
So which party are we next to crash?
Since you’re new here, let me ask
Who are you? ‘Cause what I am is sexy trash
Sleep anywhere, hit anything, smash anyone
Coping mechanism, but it isn’t really any fun
Can I quit when I want though I don’t?
Ask my brother when you see him, but you can’t so you won’t

[Chorus]

From the weak to the strong
We’ll protect what is right
All the rumors were wrong
‘Cause we won’t die tonight

At the end of the world
You will still be my family
And we will always be
The Umbrella Academy

From the weak to the strong
We’ll protect what is right
All the rumors were wrong
‘Cause we won’t die tonight

At the end of the world
You will still be my family
And we will always be
The Umbrella Academy

[Number 5 - Freeced]

Take five, I'm strolling to the battle
And there's bound to be collateral
If we allow a clatter
So I'll aim right
Foes never clamor
But I'm right under your nose like a five o'clock shadow
Yeah, so don't be panicking, it might seem
That I got a plan again the way I'm flipping tight schemes
Manic and I'm loving on a mannequin, I'm frightening
A real Who-dun-it when I'm Doctoring the time stream
Yeah, but it's no bow tie
On my neck when I step in the vest looking so fly
Master assassin, combatant with the war plans
Mad up in the haberdasher, dapper in the short pants
Never call me precocious (Jesus Christ)
What I'm on is some old shit (need advice)
There's another chapter for the Academy's grads
And I wanna be the fogey that wrote it


[Number 6 - Super Smack]
Eeny meeny miney, I was tiny when I died
And though my hair now slick and shiny, there's a Horror deep inside
I've got a Kraken in my belly, now how bout that for a skillset
Least I got myself a buddy
Hey Klaus, did you take your pills yet?

I should mention I'm a phantom
I take pleasure in leather
And well if I could rock an anthem
It'd be-- Come Together...
Under one umbrella
all the sisters and fellas
And yet we can't stop fighting
So the rain get us wet

I know you miss me every other ep
But I been getting reps
Like in the sixties with the bitties
Oh that girl she was so pretty
Got me thinkin no crossing over so I could cop a titty
I'm Ben
Hot Asian Man
Yes better bet.

[Chorus]

From the weak to the strong
We’ll protect what is right
All the rumors were wrong
‘Cause we won’t die tonight

At the end of the world
You will still be my family
And we will always be
The Umbrella Academy

From the weak to the strong
We’ll protect what is right
All the rumors were wrong
‘Cause we won’t die tonight

At the end of the world
You will still be my family
And we will always be
The Umbrella Academy


[Number 7 - LEX the Lexicon Artist]

They call me awesome
Cause I’m the bomb and
I got mental health issues that I’m tryna resolve
But every time I do it kinda devolves into apocalypse
I’m positive it’s not the kind of guys I’m involved with (No way)

Or girls, I mean, gender’s a freeway
A he/they’s got some leeway in a three-way
So bump my beat tape on replay
It’s up on eBay and it’s called
Do crimes and be gay (ay)

Keep my pills and my feelings in a bottle
Still better than a brother swillin’ from the nozzle (Stop it Klaus)
Tried to throttle me like I was a monster
Wrote a novel all about em and our awful father (that’s a monster)

It’s my concert, hope you enjoy it
Say goodbye to your universe before I destroy it
Now put your eye up in your socket and your hands in your pockets
Because we’re going to the moon, yeah this shit is gonna rocket


[Reginald Hargreeves - MC Frontalot]

Each of you now has attempted to plumb the depths of my disappointment with you.
Always I’ve got you last in line, little Ms. Anointment Issues.
Not even in my bottom six, got one of them dead, won’t move you down.
Might take a lesson from the learned chimp(’s more capable to make daddy proud).
Now gather round, mind your manners.
Danger, fear, and death are standard.
You began abandoned, and there’s the door.
Go cry to grace, it’s what I built her for.
Literally why she exists.
So go have emotions with her. Thank you

credits

released June 18, 2021
Beat produced by Rifti Beats
Mixed and mastered by Mono no Audio: mononoaudio.com

Written and performed by:

Beefy (as Luther)
Crossover (as Diego)
Prowess the Testmanent (as Allison)
Schaffer the Darklord (as Klaus)
Freeced (as Five)
Super Smack (as Ben)
LEX the Lexicon Artist (as Vanya)
MC Frontalot (as Reginald)

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LEX the Lexicon Artist New York, New York

LEX the Lexicon Artist combines Internet culture, fandom, punk ethos, and shock humor (not the mean kind) to create an over-the-top explosion of nerdy, dirty, funny raps.

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