Alter Ego

by LEX the Lexicon Artist

supported by
Stormageddon
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Stormageddon I didn't think it was possible to top "Raging Ego" because of how incredible it was but I was dead wrong. This record is flawless. Lex took sharp lyrics, phenomenal story telling and mind blowing beats and sharpened them into a fine and perfected blade of hip hop. Absolutely brilliant. Favorite track: Disappointment (feat. Chris Songco) [prod. Chris Songco].
just dessert
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just dessert This record is seriously B-O-L-D. It's clear with every track that LEX was aiming for true exploration and challenge-- not just lyrically but in every aspect of songwriting and production. My favorite parts are the new vocal risks LEX takes, all of which pay off impressively. This album simultaneously pleases and challenges your ears in the best way possible, so you hear what good music- in nerdcore and beyond- can sound like. Oh yeah and on top of that the theming is strong AF. DOPE. Favorite track: I Know [prod. Mozart von Robot].
Dizzy Gardner
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Dizzy Gardner Great philosophical track! A great trans-formative track by Lex, shows growth while keeping her same style. Favorite track: Loss of Ego [prod. NSF].
dman111
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dman111 You wouldn't think that a strongly themed introspective album would have great hook after great hook, but here we are. RECOMMENDED. Favorite track: Famous [prod. Chris Songco].
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1.
I got, One question for all of you do you feel me yet? All you Hollywood execs, are you filming yet? I’m LEX the Lexicon Artist not just Lexicon High concept got me in the upper echelon Best ass in the bay, Pita chips Now I’m in another state, you see this shit? Some days I take Ls, B Divis Other days I take Ws, Queens bitch Wetter flow than hentai, tentacles What you need to get off, pedestal I’m barred out like Japanese genitals Your bars SUCC, Meme Man, no vegetals I got One question for all of you do you feel me yet? All you Hollywood execs, are you filming yet? I’m LEX the Lexicon Artist not just Lexicon Crushing auto-thots like I’m mothafucking Megatron Imma run up on your spot, No Man’s See the Sun and fall apart, Snowman Write your name, make you drop, notepad Put my name up top, Coke Can I been smoking all the Ls, Light Yagami Not a no, not a yes, quite possibly I was kinda in the red like mahogany Now I bank roll cred like Monopoly I got, One question for all of you do you feel me yet? All you Hollywood execs, are you filming yet? I’m LEX the Lexicon Artist not just Lexicon 7 Evil Lexes like a mothafuckin heptagon Don’t tell me what I can’t do, mansplain Go bananas in the bathroom, plantain Fill em up, it’s my honeymoon, champagne You don’t like it, get fucked, don’t @ me Ain’t nobody gonna question my ability Now I live in New York City like I’m Liberty Quick and dirty like an Amazon delivery Chillin like a villain in the building, are you feelin me? I got, One question for all of you do you feel me yet? All you Hollywood execs, are you filming yet? I’m LEX the Lexicon Artist not just Lexicon High concept got me in the upper echelon (echelon, echelon, echelon)
2.
Guess who? OHHHHHH SHITTTTT! Ha-ha! People in the place to be! Did y'all miss me? Yo You’re the best Yeah I know, I know, I know Killer set Yeah I know, I know, I know I’m impressed Yeah I know, I know, I know Thank you so much for coming out to the show THOUGH You’re the best Yeah I know, I know, I know Killer set Yeah I know, I know, I know I’m impressed Yeah I know, I know, I know Thank you so much for coming out to the show SO Walk up to the stage, I’m set Put my fingers round the mic that I just graced with a check Spit some raps at all the randos get them on to my side Couple minutes back somebody asked if i was the sound guy All right I knew this would happen I’m fucking used to it Been at this for three years, technically I’m still new to it Impostor syndrome swarming I chop em off like medusa heads I’m allergic to boring, you got me taking a sudafed. Assuming makes an ass of U and Ming, which isn’t my Chinese name but it’s the word for the thing Went to war with armor made of bars, returned with a chink so you can hit me with the slurs and watch me swerve in a blink Cause I'm the lexicon artist, that word player life If I married a writer I’d be a word player’s wife but I’d rather be alone with my curses of creativity than spending energy on another person that isn’t me You’re the best Yeah I know, I know, I know Killer set Yeah I know, I know, I know I’m impressed Yeah I know, I know, I know Thank you so much for coming out to the show THOUGH You’re the best Yeah I know, I know, I know Killer set Yeah I know, I know, I know I’m impressed Yeah I know, I know, I know Thank you so much for coming out to the show SO Even before you speak I see what you mean I’m STILL everybody’s favorite mind reading machine But don’t come asking for advice cause my opinions SUCK And my prescriptions all consist of NOT GIVING A FUCK But please do come to me and talk to me and sing me your praises If you think I’m dope then give me shows and bring me your stages If you’re thinking of getting intimate, well let me rephrase it This the closest that you'll get, short of getting me naked I’ve predicted interactions had by you and me You hesitate when I ask you to buy a USB "but I’m so old school!” shit I was born in ’94 Once upon a time I had a cd player, not anymore And to all of you who share my work and wear my shirts you lovely folks are thereby cursed to know that everything you’re saying I predicted it first But I appreciate it anyway which isn’t the worst COME ON! You’re the best Yeah I know, I know, I know Killer set Yeah I know, I know, I know I’m impressed Yeah I know, I know, I know Thank you so much for coming out to the show THOUGH You’re the best Yeah I know, I know, I know Killer set Yeah I know, I know, I know I’m impressed Yeah I know, I know, I know Thank you so much for coming out to the show SO Some people say that I’m a feminist icon (what) I guess I am because I f with the lights on (TMI?) They say that I’m an Asian American activist But I can’t rap in Mandarin and I haven’t been practicing (ni hao?) So thanks, but reconsider perhaps? I don’t exactly put the role model shit in my raps But I guess I get it it feels good to be represented and I’m happy to represent you if you’re feeling like crap That’s a fact. If you like me, then I like you This is true. This is your mic, and my mic too And when I spit it, you dig it yeah I already knew Cause that’s exactly what you called me to this venue to do, dude So keep the compliments coming It keeps my optimist buzzing lest my belief in my competence drops into nothing It’s funny how my confidence is based on your vote And I just told you all about it in this song that I wrote Let’s go You’re the best Yeah I know, I know, I know Killer set Yeah I know, I know, I know I’m impressed Yeah I know, I know, I know Thank you so much for coming out to the show THOUGH You’re the best Yeah I know, I know, I know Killer set Yeah I know, I know, I know I’m impressed Yeah I know, I know, I know Thank you so much for coming out to the show SO LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA Yeah but seriously don’t ever say that shit to me again I’m just kidding, you can say it
3.
[LEX the Lexicon Artist] Wake up in the morning first thing I do is look at you You’re such a beauty, though with all the things you put me through I’m still confused as to why I keep you next to me All I really know is I’m addicted to you desperately I lay in bed with you and stare at you for hours If I’m feeling daring I’ll carry you to the shower Just can’t help but turn you on at the breakfast table You’re my next level best friend, let's forget the labels But my attachment borders on the obsessive See you’re the center of my world, of you I’m oddly possessive That’s why I’m careful where I tread because I’m scared I’m gonna break you If I left you unattended well then someone’s gonna take you Never thought that I would be at someone’s beck and call But I’m so terrified of sharing I’d smash you against my wall If it meant I could have you to pieces but damn I should be ending this I got so many apps and you're sending me mixed messages [Coolzey] Wait what? We had a plan and you want to throw it all away? Break the contract that we made after all the dues been paid? I’m all yours and I don’t know what I do I feel used and abused Please don’t choose to make a trade. We’re on the verge of an upgrade and if you stay there’s going to be rewards Our relationship is priceless What do you mean you can’t afford? Remember when you broke down on the road? I was there to guide you home. What if you were all alone? I can’t bear to think about that or the fact that you’ll never again be All in my ear talking, slide into your back pocket while we are walking. If you were to just drop me on the curb you know the damage would be irreparable. Come on, I thought we were inseparable. I’m not just a distraction. I’m here to help you get by and alleviate your tedium by a fraction Please boo I need you so much. Don’t put me down girl! I can’t live without your touch! [LEX the Lexicon Artist] Touch screen on, screen brightness off You think you’re hot but your hardware is Microsoft Got you for my problems that I thought you might solve But I prolly should stop looking at you with the lights off I can tell you hate it when I turn you off or put you down to try de-escalating all the cons of keeping you around I mute your sound but it doesn’t change my complacency I gotta pop your sim out, 'cause you're chipping away at me I do enjoy your services when I’m in bed with you but then you leave me sapped of all my energy to get me through the next morning, keeping me awake when I should go to sleep I always keep you charged but you’re leaving me drained, so to speak It’s clear you’re treating me as solely a transaction Though you’re frequently my only form of social interaction My attraction to you, is a detraction from my peace of mind Read my mind, time to trade you in for the redesign
4.
[Klopfenpop] Welcome to Small Biz Incorporated, have a seat In the back we got a stack of some snacks to eat We'll have to see who's gonna make it to lunch Because not everyone's cut out for the corporate crunch Have you approached old acquaintances on Facebook, yet? Do you place good bets? Wanna erase your debts? I hope I'm making sense, because it takes the best to break fates with the rest and make manifest If you can't invest in yourself, then who will You gotta put money down to make startup scrill The Art of the Deal, that's a solid read Want to amass that cash, just follow me Cuz while the peak of the mountain evades you The haters'll debate you and try to dissuade you Just because you're makin' moves that they're too afraid to The top half of that diamond awaits you [LEX the Lexicon Artist] What do you want the most in your lifetime? What connects the boat to your lifeline? And if you were given minutes in the limelight Would you still prefer to live within the guidelines? They asked me What do you want, and why do you care And, What are you doing now in getting you there I sit and think about these questions, I don’t have an answer Or at least, not an answer that resembles the standard The room is filled with incoming interns and hopeful analysts Busy pretending that they never indulge in cannabis Anarchist in the midst of panelists and undergraduates I’m standing to the back, beginning to feel inadequate And then I notice that the women in the space They all possessed visages similar to my face Of East Asian descent, proximity to my race Of at least 80 percent, from what I could estimate A room of Asian women all behaving like drones I started questioning if they had any aims of their own Or just lost in a sea of sameness where their names were unknown And then I stepped out of the room because I came here alone What do you want the most in your lifetime? What connects the boat to your lifeline? And if you were given minutes in the limelight Would you still prefer to live within the guidelines? (nothing is perfect Was it all worth it What is my purpose Was it all worth it) I will never network if it doesn’t move me forward And if you do me favors I will thank you in the foreword But who am I to think I could possibly make a change Cause to you I’m just a chink and that will always stay the same I’m impatient for success, maybe it was never meant for me I guess I should expect my pretension to be the death of me Accept defeat, send a fleet of ships, say surrender And never remember the shame of caving to my enemies Then I’ll be, a representative of an embassy Of normalcy and content, of comfort and complacency I’d hate to be looking over my shoulder when I’m thirty thinking Damn I wish I’d never pretended, I wish I’d chased my dream But some people just wanna do their part They just wanna live their lives, we just wanna live ours A life of stability versus falling apart I ask you, was it worth it just to follow my heart? What do you want the most in your lifetime? What connects the boat to your lifeline? And if you were given minutes in the limelight Would you still prefer to live within the guidelines? (nothing is perfect Was it all worth it What is my purpose Was it all worth it)
5.
[LEX the Lexicon Artist] I’m waiting for something to happen To my brain it is just a distraction But I can feel it everywhere I go From the trains in Taipei to the streets of Manhattan Fantasies I’ve lived in passing Visions of my dreams that I’ve been redacting Inhibited feelings turn to fits of passion In the instant the minute hand’s inched a fraction The bigger the distance the faster the passage of time That’s relativity as it’s applied But adding attachments will addle its accuracy, it will cease to comply I’d hack through the masses, my back to the sky If that’s what it takes to get back to your side Cause the fact is I tried and I can’t get you out of the chasm that acts as the back of my mind The last time I cried was a year ago I really fucking wish that the tears would flow You’re the inefficiency I fear the most Instead of getting that bread my career is toast It’s weird I know, to worry that my time is running out but I also think my calendar is tryna bum me out With its lines and tasks I’m tryna grasp and act on But I find the days just kinda drag on When I’m thinking bout how great it’d be to have you Think I’m moving but it’s making me a statue Maybe it’s your simulacrum I’m attached to Ache to pick your brain but I’m too afraid to ask you Overdue for a change in attitude Cover up the truth when exchanging platitudes Pull back just to keep from sinking then we’ll wait another week and I'll keep on thinking [Atlas] I don’t mean to hit you up again But you’re always on my mind I think about you all the time, all the time I think about you all the time, all the time [LEX the Lexicon Artist] I shouldn't live like you’re the only thing I’m waiting for But every minute I can taste it makes me crave it more Anticipation plagues my waking state and shakes my core Every day I wake to get my dopamine sensation from my notifications and I can take no more Pace the floor, reward centers in a state of war To say I never felt this way before Would be a fake discourse Although revisiting the same remorse I would never consider changing course Is that insane, of course I’ve staying ignoring my pain receptors for ever extending durations of time Reinforced my taste in what I didn’t have the patience for and never expecting to make up my mind But fame isn’t something you can take by force You may need to wait for it to take its course And love isn’t something to confuse with lust Think of all the different ways they could use your trust But I used my gut, and that has gotten me here Hearing the clock tick and tock in my ear I’m not giving up I will not disappear Cause nothing and no one can stop my career Sock all my fears in the face Do not interfere with my pace The clock is still ticking I got to be winning this race But not when I’m missing your face The clock is still ticking I got to get out of this place The clock is still ticking I think it won’t stop till I’m dead Then it does and the one thing that’s left is a voice in my head tryna tell me it’s not over yet [Atlas] I don’t mean to hit you up again But you’re always on my mind I think about you all the time, all the time I think about you all the time, all the time I don’t mean to hit you up again But you’re always on my mind I think about you all the time, all the time I think about you all the time, all the time I don’t mean to cut you off again But you’re dragging me behind I think I’m running out of time, out of time I think I’m running out of time, out of time I don’t mean to cut you off again But you’re dragging me behind I think I’m running out of time, out of time I think I’m running out of time, out of time
6.
[LEX the Lexicon Artist] Yo It’s not easy being me for a start Always dealing with these secrets that I keep in my heart Feeling steeped in my own demons that are feeding my art Deep in need of self-esteem but still believe that I’m smart To tease them apart, would mean to keep my ego at bay Flimsy like a sheet of paint I feel it peeling away I’d rather lie than try to put this side of me on display so I’m staying high and dry from seeing any people today Sometimes I shrink into myself, taking a dive into the depths of depression and question why I’m alive And other times I think that I’m the best to ever exist And wonder why the next messiah’s taking everyone’s shit They say take care of yourself or you’ll burn out No project and no obstacle's too hellish to surmount But first you gotta get some self care, put your needs first Now I’m seeking some suggestions guess I’ll do some research [Chorus] So now I’m doing some self care Success has been elusive when pursuing it elsewhere Don’t wanna be deluded, I’m improving my welfare So tell me what to do if I were looking for self care Hell yeah [Shubzilla] You out doin research, Sis But I think there's a step that we mighta missed Do you got a book that you wanna start readin? A favorite blend of tea that you're into drinkin? What about a nice bubble bath? So hoes outta pocket don't incur your wrath Cuz there's always gonna be some bitch who rain on your parade You out gettin bags while they ain't gettin paid List all them accolades you got a long resume I know you're down to try that out - when do you hesitate? Stroll around the city heard she's pretty with these Christmas lights Stayin in is dope too, appreciate them nights You jet set hustlin - work can wait Save for another day that full fuckin plate Know your worth, this your terf, gotta go self-serve Start with a deep breath - calm that nerve [LEX the Lexicon Artist] So now I’m doing some self care Success has been elusive when pursuing it elsewhere Don’t wanna be deluded, I’m improving my welfare So tell me what to do if I were looking for self care Hell yeah [Mikal kHill] You might see me rolling on a paperchase and say how do you maintain in a world so tasteless WAIT I have to correct them, you see these claims are baseless mane I am MAD FUCKING STRESSED on a daily basis, dang I do have a few rules, for fools that cross lines swiftly get a broke disk down in their damn spine Since the cancer came i been slightly outta my mind stab a motherfuck out of line that waste my time On any random day that I don’t feel like i need to go into the office I call every manager and tell them they can suck two dicks Neither mine. I’m drunk before they pick up the phone Self medicating is the only therapy i know That’s how it goes though from womb to tomb now No smile on my face, self care is a permanent scowl Blowing off appointments I got a lot on my plate And honestly I have to admit it’s pretty great So now I’m doing some self care Success has been elusive when pursuing it elsewhere Don’t wanna be deluded, I’m improving my welfare So tell me what to do if I were looking for self care Hell yeah
7.
When I walk into the party everybody’s always looking at me And everybody at the party thinks there’s nowhere else I’d rather be And I’m the center of attention but they haven’t a clue That in twenty seven minutes I’ll be out of this zoo My friend Zack invited me to a kickback at his place And it’s his birthday if I flake then he’ll be mad at me So I’m gonna party hop Woh I’m gonna party hop Woh I’m gonna party hop Woh Cause one party’s not nearly enough When you’re in California there is always more stuff to do But if you think that I’m perfunctory my answer is perfunct you too! (Yeah, take that) I don’t mean to offend you but my schedule is packed And I was only ever here to see the opening act Sorry dude, I gotta dash, I have to go and catch the bart or I might have to get an uberpool (oh my god, so expensive) It’s time to party hop Woohhhhh It’s time to party hop Woohhhhh It’s time to party hop Woohhhhh Cause one party’s not nearly enough Should I do a work shift and a date with a friend Or try to hit forty-eight facebook events? That I’m gonna end up being late to again Maybe I should head home but I’d hate to offend Night’s still young and I’m having a blast I’m kinda drunk, I don’t know how long that’s gonna last I gotta go fast, I have a thing at half past nine And I don’t wanna buy another glass of wine I got time, I think the party got a late start I gotta leave at twelve cause I gotta make bart I just wanna take part in all the cool shit in town Pulling up the calendar to move shit around Wipe that frown off your face It's time to make the rounds all over the place But first, I leave quietly without a trace We bout to party bounce into outer space Let’s go Do the party hop!
8.
[LEX the Lexicon Artist] If they asked me whether Lex is just a character I couldn’t say Elements of truth exaggerated maybe who’s to say Roots that only users aggregated could communicate Introducing, an Alter Ego for our new today I’m the kind like layers in a pie like Dr. Horrible said I’m the top and bottom layers waging war in my head With the center maintaining level that’s the one in my bed And at the store and with my parents, not the one that you’ve met Unless you’ve seen me in action, and that’s as real as the other That’s the one that I keep at a distance still from my mother Though I discovered it quite young, hiding it under covers I’m finally old enough to be flying my ugly colors That’s the one you watch and listen to, it’s critical to see Both and all of them are aspects that are integral to me I’m not a switch you flip on and off, it isn’t so simple My spirits live in a body they wish would split down the middle The part of me You see Is not the one True me Oh all the things We know I’ll never let Me go The part of me You see Is not the one True me Oh all the things We know I’ll never let Me go My alter ego If I could make a clone to be the nice and boring me I would send her off to lead a life of normalcy Schemes they have in store for me she’d see to them accordingly As making all my family happy is her priority Normally with clones, people seek to do some sordid things Like skydive, do a bunch of drugs, maybe fuck your clone, that sorta thing Maybe forcing them all to be organ donors, sustaining you as an immortal being If you’re wondering “what shouldn’t we do to clones?” well I think I just answered rhetorically Is it morally right to make a clone to leave me alone And have a stable job and home and maybe kids of her own A happy daughter whose parents will make their happiness known About her life, her spouse, her choices, and the path that she chose And they’d be happy, I’d be happy they can have what I want them to Send my love with Alter Alex while I do what I wanna do Cause I wiped her memory clean she’ll never know her creator Though if she did she’d be resentful of the person who made her The part of me You see Is not the one True me Oh all the things We know I’ll never let Me go The part of me You see Is not the one True me Oh all the things We know I’ll never let Me go My alter ego [Schaffer the Darklord] That old performer duality, I embody it I got the me that I put up before an audience Then I've got the version of me that I share with parents and partners But even that me is just another suit of armor If the average bear is slipping in and out of disguises Then I wear a mask under a balaclava tucked inside of A motorcycle helmet in a block of ice frozen In a barrel in concrete buried beneath the ocean On stage I posture like I'm Darth Vader and make noise In real life I'm more like Anakin but Jake Lloyd Giving the stiffest delivery of a shittily written script Disappointing the critics then disappearing to quit and split Back to my secret lair protected by a dozen walls With egos inside of egos nested like Russian dolls So save your coin toss 'cause it won't reveal a thing It's best to pick a card and guess which one of me that I'll bring The part of me You see Is not the one True me Oh all the things We know I’ll never let Me go The part of me You see Is not the one True me Oh all the things We know I’ll never let Me go My alter ego
9.
Panic has descended on our petty little lives Mothers brothers and husbands and their pretty little wives Hear their cry as their white throne is occupied by a tyrant His wily hands extending from the mainland to the islands And his plan is violent He and his cronies hatched a wicked scheme Sicker than addiction and more pernicious than nicotine The gist being mass suppression of one half of the nation's population and their ability to live their dreams Attack our sanctuaries, where we have control Our temples ravaged, no one knows who'll be the last to go it's apropos that instead of having us go and die They'd rather desecrate us so they're forcing us to multiply Well not I, I'm a step ahead of everyone I call upon a local expert just to get it done A secret procedure, a physical addition That may grant me superpowers that will free me from the system Augmented, a mechanical upgrade Pause a vital function push it back into someday Hack into your circuitry a gadget that's invisible After it's attached, baby, that's when you're invincible I step into a cavern with its walls white and blue I check in with the guard who tells me what to do Leads me to another room where contraptions are strapped upon me By maidens in cloaks, gauging the different ghosts in my body I take a seat, the door opens and there before me In glowing white is the holy master of ceremonies She's old and wise, eyes enveloped in mystery She asks a couple questions bout my sexual history I answer truthfully and say I've never been with child, And with a smile she says 'you may be in pain for a while' Though I'll inject you with a serum that lightens the strain, It won't prevent you from the initial pierce of the lidocaine And in a deft motion metal prongs tear me open Hold me open in between my legs as she injects the potion No commotion from me as I'm soaking up the juices From the inside, in time, I will be a superhuman Staring at the ceiling waiting for the coup de grace I can’t see a thing but I can hear the master move across The room to grab the weapon, the agent of activation The very thing that will make me a patient of augmentation And then a wave of immense pain is forced upon me My muscles straining to reject the foreign body Seconds of utter agony as the gadget releases I feel my viscera spasm, it’s battling with the beast and The pain is seemingly ceaseless, I’m anguished for minutes after But quick as it came upon me it vanishes even faster I thank the master and leave with omnipotence in my guts Now I can finally I U Deez Nuts (don’t ask what that means. No one knows what it means but it’s provocative. Gets the people going, ok?) Now I can finally I U Deez Nuts Now I can finally I U Deez Nuts Now I can finally I U Deez Nuts Now I can finally I U Deez Nuts
10.
Turn up the lights till they make you go blind Check out this future that I made with my mind If you feel anxious as our fates intertwine It’s by design (oh) Take my hand and let me into your soul It’s with your help that we can get to my goals With little effort you can give me control I’m on a roll (oh) I want you like I wanna be famous I want you like I wanna be famous I want you like I wanna be famous I want you like I wanna be famousss So gimme everything So gimme everything when i get everything will you be there for me So gimme everything So gimme everything So gimme everything Gimme everything Gimme everything I want And I’ll take what you need There’s nothing better in this world than getting famous with me Just gimme everything I want And I’ll make you believe There’s nothing better in this world than getting famous with me Wo-oh, wo-oh, wo-oh Wo-oh, wo-oh, wo-oh Wo-oh, wo-oh, wo-oh Wo-oh, wo-oh, wo-oh Get the fame and the money will follow With glitz and glamor you won’t feel so hollow I live for cameras and the city lights So treat me right (oh) I knew the moment that I looked in your eyes That we were meant to be together, I swear I was electrified So come with me I’ll strap you in for the ride I’m on your side (oh) I want you like I wanna be famous I want you like I wanna be famous I want you like I wanna be famous I want you like I wanna be famousss So gimme everything So gimme everything When i get everything Will you be there for me So gimme everything So gimme everything So gimme everything Gimme everything Gimme everything I want And I’ll take what you need There’s nothing better in this world than getting famous with me Just gimme everything I want And I’ll make you believe There’s nothing better in this world than getting famous with me Wo-oh, wo-oh, wo-oh Wo-oh, wo-oh, wo-oh Wo-oh, wo-oh, wo-oh Wo-oh, wo-oh, wo-oh Cars, cash, cannabis I’m your best friend, I’m your advocate I’m your agent, I’m your management Let me in and I can show you all my magic tricks Cause you’re a masochist and feel inadequate But I can see you have a vision so passionate You planned for this, and that means I’ll always be here so let go of your fear of abandonment I don’t ask for much, just a pledge of allegiance You act an impostor I’ll lend you my credence Repress your emotions, I’ll empty your secrets I'm keeping them all on the edge of their seats and They’ll never forget you they’ll envy your genius I'll give you the best open-ended agreement You give me your all and I’ll take what you need I’ll live in your soul and I’ll make you succeed Gimme everything I want And I’ll take what you need There’s nothing better in this world than getting famous with me Just gimme everything I want And I’ll make you believe There’s nothing better in this world than getting famous with me
11.
Stop with the posturing Y’all make me nauseous Stop with the posturing Y’all are so obvious Stop with the posturing Y’all make me nauseous Stop with the posturing Y’all are so obvious (c’mon) All you kids don’t have a clue what you’re doing All the fake shit I see right through it You think you got it understood but the truth is None of us have a fucking clue what we’re doing Let's start with some honesty Why you bottom feeders tryna bother me Find me up to my neck in it constantly I got no time for you posturing wannabes Follow me? Social media’s a comedy Watching the tweets and the posts on my feed grow in quantity All the imposters they talk on and on bout the size of their cocks Oh my god show some modesty Call me out for hypocrisy? Yeah you probably think that you’re onto me See I acknowledge the bottom I started in I would have not gotten farther if not for camaraderie I’m just tired of the posturing all the breaking news but no following through you call it making moves with no follows or views? I call it stating the truth, I give honest reviews (ooh) Stop with the posturing Y’all make me nauseous Stop with the posturing Y’all are so obvious Stop with the posturing Y’all make me nauseous Stop with the posturing Y’all are so obvious (c’mon) All you kids don’t have a clue what you’re doing All the fake shit I see right through it You think you got it understood but the truth is None of us have a fucking clue what we’re doing I consider all this hubris a nuisance Excuse me for being so ruthless At the risk of being con-strued as rudeness Why the fuck is everyone around me so god damn clueless? Modern solutions for modern problems Unfollow you then I unfollow God and you can call me Judas cause I called the cops on all your wild delusions in the Olive Garden If you find this all to be so shocking Prolly cause this the alter ego talking I’m just the same as the people I’m mocking but I keep it straight let my feet do the walking (awesome) Talk with no action is stupid and useless you doofus You could take a cue from Confucius and if you know a dude that thinks that they know what they're doing and proves it then please introduce us Stop with the posturing Y’all make me nauseous Stop with the posturing Y’all are so obvious Stop with the posturing Y’all make me nauseous Stop with the posturing Y’all are so obvious (c’mon) All you kids don’t have a clue what you’re doing All the fake shit I see right through it You think you got it understood but the truth is None of us have a fucking clue what we’re doing All the fake shit I see right through it None of us have a fucking clue what we’re doing All the fake shit I see right through it None of us have a fucking clue what we’re doing Stop with the posturing Y’all make me nauseous Stop with the posturing Y’all are so obvious Stop with the posturing Y’all make me nauseous Stop with the posturing Y’all are so obvious All you kids don’t have a clue what you’re doing All the fake shit I see right through it You think you got it understood but the truth is None of us have a fucking clue what we’re doing
12.
I moved to Berkeley, California in August of 2012 The year that my life began, but I honestly couldn’t tell Whether it was for worse or better to venture out of my shell And write myself a narrative I never imagined I’d tell No chance in hell I would be here if I hadn’t received it A piece of paper, auditions for college theater this weekend I believed it was destiny, took my chances and I succeeded The rest of my college years it became the thing that I needed In our comfy little pond, the competition was heated I fought to be respected but constantly felt defeated We found each other in solace, cooperated to beat’em As partners in solidarity I’m so sorry I Did what I did, but understand though I wish I could take it back I’m glad you’re in my past, when I think of the way you reacted I lit a match, the past three years were turned to ashes The path that I had in front of me I could only imagine She wondered where these wings were gonna take her Ephemeral like vapor Flimsier than paper, er Oh I wish these wings would take me where I want to Somewhere I can run to From the things I’ll never undo, o Oh 2016, for some reason I’m still alive Quit my job and I was looking for meaningfulness in life Filling free time with meaningless hookups and open mics A theater friend suggested I look at a joint he liked I started there as LEX the same place that we met You caught my attention instantly and gained my respect Your electromagnetic stage presence made me obsessed But most of all you made me interested in taking your steps I fell in love but at the time I wasn’t honest with you And we didn’t see eye to eye on what we wanted to do ‘Cause you loved other people too and you needed to keep it open Which was ok but I hoped that we could be more than a fluke Then a moment that shook the world brought us closer as lovers In a nation plagued by darkness we offered each other comfort Understanding and empathy our only sources of light I finally made the jump on the path to another life She wondered where these wings were gonna take her Ephemeral like vapor Flimsier than paper, er Oh I wish these wings would take me where I want to Somewhere I can run to From the things I’ll never undo, o Oh The jump hurt. I broke and injured myself And yet I focused and kept at it at the risk of my health Pushed the limits of my body like I was living in hell Yet followed my sole directive, a story I lived to tell As I grew and recovered I discovered a world anew A group of people who loved me and almost certainly knew What I was working to do, understood the way that I think Unlike my other adventures this felt like The Real Thing My life was hard-reset and so was my heart My eyes opened up to a higher level, the barriers fell apart The past that had brought me here now appeared to be antiquated And far away, though I’m not the same, I would hate to discard it ‘Cause changing is hard. I’ll never see it like I used to But I remain on the journey that I was first introduced to By a piece of paper, now decayed, absorbed by the sediment Decision after decision propels me in my experiment Who am I and what am I doing this for In my mind were all these questions I never noticed before Approval or fame or love or respect or money or status Or happiness, not just stepping stones but acceptable goals Do I want more? Something genuine and kind The reason I’m even here, I’ll eventually leave behind As I leave the city to find who and what I will care about Where these wings are gonna take me I haven’t figured it out. She wondered where these wings were gonna take her Ephemeral like vapor Flimsier than paper, er Oh I wish these wings would take me where I want to Somewhere I can run to From the things I’ll never undo, o Oh
13.
So there’s a mission you want to come to fruition A situation suspended in quantum superposition A subatomic event, with subatomic conditions Peripheral to its system determining its existence We seek the perfect conclusion, a simple yes or a no But when does a quantum system pick a direction to go A single decaying atom that triggered a chain reaction that changed your path, could’ve happened milliseconds ago Like Schrodinger’s cat, trapped with a flask of poisonous gas That's known to remain intact till an atom ⚛ lowers in mass And though its fate’s in the bag in a moment that’s so exact You have to open the casket before you know it as fact Exploding kittens enclosed in a question of life or death In a micro level event that will have a vital effect On survival or expiration. Arrive at your destination And make your determination or live your life with regret Yet undamaged or broken apart What's the status of Schrodinger's heart Tip the balance, no more restarts What's the status of Schrodinger's heart Is it Dead or alive You’ll never know till you try You’ll never know if you’re right You’ll never know till you die Are you Dead or alive You’ll never know till you try You’ll never know if you’re right You’ll never know till you die And when he stepped out of the lab that day He made a pit stop at that cafe The one he’d pass on his way to class To grab his daily cappucino From that pretty cashier to whom he’d grown attache He wanted desperately to ask her out on a date But not during working hours he could never be that passe If he waited till afternoon then he’d be that classmate Their relationship wasn’t at that stage But at the same time As he would wait in line Staying resigned Likely that she’d noticed all the signs and made up her mind Was it better to stay on the grind And fake he was fine And try his very best to pay her no mind He didn’t think so Because regardless of what he wanted The scales had already faltered And gone the direction that they had meant to go The process already started And ended deep in her heart And if he discarded his mission Then he would never know Yet undamaged or broken apart What's the status of Schrodinger's heart Tip the balance, no more restarts What's the status of Schrodinger's heart Is it Dead or alive You’ll never know till you try You’ll never know if you’re right You’ll never know till you die Are you Dead or alive You’ll never know till you try You’ll never know if you’re right You’ll never know till you die Is it Dead or alive You’ll never know till you try You’ll never know if you’re right You’ll never know till you die Are you Dead or alive You’ll never know till you try You’ll never know if you’re right You’ll never know till you die Yet undamaged or broken apart What's the status of Schrodinger's heart Tip the balance, no more restarts What's the status of Schrodinger's heart
14.
All I see is a tree All I see is details of the tree Leaves, where light is reflecting and meeting me in my eyes milliseconds of my mind interpreting impressions upon my retina In fives, in threes, in nines, in seventies In patterns and lines, our kind’s aggregated memories Intelligent design, doesn’t have to be heavenly The question is mine, is mind matter or entity Matter of fact, answering that matters for jack Cause whether matter matters doesn’t matter, what’s the matter with that? My blood is red and my marrow is black, and I’m a hack So shallow my passion so narrow my path What of status, and what of rap? What of jobs and the cash that we’re bringing back? What of flashes of sadness and of laughter and orgasms we’re sacs of atoms in an atom sanctum Floating past at random, expanded plankton In our tank of a planet throwing massive tantrums Commanders in chief seeming so out of sight From our island unlikely the tide would be turned if we tried What of my arrogance, what of my pride? What of my body and what of my mind? For several minutes bereft of my ego And left like a shell I am empty inside At the core I am just light Nothing more, just an aura burning so bright Just a story of emotions that I know might Go into dormancy the minute my time goes by No lie, as I’m lurking at the borderline my sober mind doesn’t crack the surface of a normal life So divine, and terrifying to see My truth is abstract as the light on a tree Like me Lying in bed, mind is a ripple On opposite sides but aligned in the middle My life is a line in a riddle I find that some medicine lets me define it a little A trickle of stippling noises, emanating to me from the heart of the town A mixture of instruments, voices, and digital layers vibrating and watering down To a nebulous gumbo of sound, floating away from its sources and flowing through space Through thin venue walls, and festival stages, the din of the pavement absorbed on the way In its present state, there’s no recognizing what it was in its separate parts It was art, there was effort made, people exercising free expression and sending a message with heart But its degradation is the product of distance Traveled too far now the content is missing Lost information and gone is the mission It’s no longer music, just sonorous friction And moving air, it was made to be intimate All the particles make something intricate As intended its weight is significant From a distance it’s aimless and dissonant And that’s why our relationships are critical And connections are pivotal Being close to one another is the way that we can Live it all the way, we were meant to in the physical A miracle, how we shape our own meanings, amazing what humans are capable of But it’s all just a feelingless haze, unless we can share it with people we love
15.
[LEX the Lexicon Artist] I put you up upon a pedestal when I met you Now I’m having trouble letting go Does that upset you that I finally see the side You never wanted to show Or that I’m fed up with the lies You didn’t want me to know It always feels like only moments ago Back when I had the rose tinted glasses on, happy go lucky I guess it only goes to show us both that passion is funny and when attraction turns ugly it grows a soul of its own And then the roots take hold, make a bed in the cracks Statue’s broken and there’s little hope of getting it back Overblown expectations made me see what you lacked And all the bogus things you said to keep my feelings intact Were in fact Just a facade and it struck me as odd Though you opted not to hurt me your morality’s flawed Wish I could travel back in time to look up at you in awe But now that facts have come to light, I’ll never see what I saw But I’ll remember how you made me feel If only for a second I could say *it’s real* Emotion was a weapon that you kept concealed Left unspoken all the trauma that was yet unhealed Caught up in the drama and the sex appeal But the situation honestly was less ideal Put you up too high but you’re letting me down Now I can see the sky better as I’m hitting the ground [Chris Songco] You got put on a foundation laid the groundwork in my mind thought about you all the time the ground became a climb It got too high and now I’m falling Ignored all of the signs Such a disappointment You are such a disappointment [LEX the Lexicon Artist] Such a disappointment from the fall to the end Looking back I can’t believe I even called you a friend Guess I'll laugh at my naivety and folly and then I’ll think of all the crazy names you’ll never call me again See I imagined up a future that we’d have in our heads Well it’s too bad the only future that we had was in bed And it’s said if the sex is impressive then you’ll never forget it and though it’s true I’m choosing balance instead So I'm done with spending all my time and all my energy, you made a mess of my emotions and I’ll never see you the way I did when we first met on a whim Cause I never would have thought that you could spread me so thin But now I’m feeling better now I know that it’s done In the moment I surrendered knew I’d already won And if you want me back, give me a call Cause I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t miss you at all [Chris Songco] You got put on a foundation Laid the groundwork in my mind Thought about you all the time The ground became a climb I got too high and now i’m falling Ignored all of the signs Such a disappointment You are such a disappointment Yeah my ego it got a little hurt Started with a glance, led to a little flirt Now our moments they convert into tiny specks of dirt Lightly placed on the picture of you in your pretty shirt Sweet like a dessert, Took a taste and went berserk Overate now I hate your effect on my worth Soon I’ll feel great, gotta put in the work To review and move on, you endearing little jerk Cuz I was so addicted, how you made me feel so Elevated, in the matrix moving real slow Captivated in a trance, putting on a crazy dance To impress you, guess I wasted my heel toe On a person who just simply wasn’t a fit Or maybe it was me who needs to grow up a bit Cuz no one in the world is worth a pedestal, just let her go Yup, I’m done with this shit I looked up at you for hours Put you up there with the stars Pretty constellation I admired from afar Now the sky looks so outdated I see you for who you are Such a disappointment This is such a disappointment You got put on a foundation Laid the groundwork in my mind Thought about you all the time The ground became a climb I got too high and now i’m falling Ignored all of the signs Such a disappointment You are such a disappointment
16.
Yesterday I went through all the messages I sent you and I cringed at everything that I said it’s kind of funny how other people forgive themselves and manage to continue while my indiscretions live in my head I’ve spent so many minutes staring at the ceiling and feeling pathetic cringing in my bed and wishing I could just freely forget that I’ve been such a terrible person to an exponential degree Every day I try and fail to be empathetic to me Other people aren’t like me, other people can forgive But I’ll always feel regret even if I’ve learned from it Apologize in my head, push myself to be better and soon as I’m better bet I’m apologizing again Because I’m never satisfied with the person I keep becoming I’m never enough, running in circles that lead to nothing Always changing, that’s the crux of my work but the awkward thing with change is that you come to hate the person you were I hate my songs, I share too much, they should’ve never been listened to How could I have ever known that it would end up this difficult preventing my alter ego from becoming the main and taking over a conscience that it can hardly sustain Have I saddled you with pain and complaining in the name of relatability when really I’m just aching for sympathy Could my frankness be maybe chipping away at my dignity Explaining why I’m embarrassed just to listen to me? And nothing’s changed I’m still the same I’m still ashamed and self-indulgent Still displaying my greatest failings against my better judgment Still afraid and insecure and irritated by nothing Even though when I’m on stage it isn’t clear that I’m bluffing But if nothing else I’ll pretend I did it different, just rewrite it Send a text into the past, change my path and justify it See I never had a plan I just make it up as I go That’s why I was bad at Go. That’s why no one has to know So send a text back July of 2014 I’ll send a text back to April 2015 And send a text back December 2016 I’ll course correct my open ended stories sew up the seams So send a text back to summer 2018 And send a text back to fall of 2019 I’ll send a text back and change the flow of the stream and all my million alter egos they won’t know what it means El psy congroo, d-mails, microwaves World lines, closed loops, that’s the will of Stein’s Gate Time games, mind frames, trapped within the ice age I’ll try to change my fate by overwriting all of my mistakes Don’t try to save my life you’ll only wind up making line breaks My destiny’s defined but behind me I need a wiped slate I’ll find my place so leave me be you’ll see you never needed me just cheated by the alter ego’s evil deeds If I could go back when every day was like a game we could play I would learn to take the careful way, observe what I say Back when everyone was who I thought they would be I would opt to run my optics more anonymously You see All I really need is to be honest to me Not to spotlight all my problems for my audience to see Yeah that’s me, just can’t help but do it again I can’t undo it, I can only pretend

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"Alter Ego" is LEX the Lexicon Artist's second full-length album.

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released March 31, 2020

Alter Ego
© 2020 LEX the Lexicon Artist

All songs (except “Party Hop”) mixed and mastered by Cecil Decker (Mono no Audio): www.mononoaudio.com
Party Hop mixed by Klopfenpop
LEX Vocals tracked by Douglas Widick at Sweet Tea Studio
Album cover art by R.Black

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LEX the Lexicon Artist New York, New York

LEX the Lexicon Artist makes cerebral pop rap.

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