Hi, I’m LEX the Lexicon Artist, and this is Alter Ego: Explained.
Self Care is a song about the good and the bad of self-care.
Self Care was born of a single rhyme that came to me halfway between sleep and waking:
“Self Care, Hell Yeah”
And that became a song.
Of course, it goes without saying that the working title of Self Care was “Self Care Hell Yeah”. However, by the time the masters were finished, I had been abbreviating it as Self Care for so long that I decided that “Self Care Hell Yeah” was too long.
The original idea was for me to contemplate options for self care with a “Self Care Angel” and a “Self Care Devil”. I chose Shubzilla and Mikal to play those roles because as friends they each embody the archetype of “Caring Aunty” and “Chaotic Uncle” respectively. The loose prompt was to offer advice for me, the narrator, who is seeking suggestions for self care, while the Angel and Devil each have their own interpretations of self-care.
Is self care going for a run and seeing a therapist? Or is it eating chocolate and tweeting uncontrollably? One gives you long-term benefits and the other gives you short-term satisfaction. Both have pros and cons, and sometimes what you need depends on the situation. Shubzilla wrote a verse mostly directed towards me, offering kind but firm advice, reinforcing my self-esteem. Mikal kHill not only takes it the complete opposite direction, he also doesn’t address me at all, instead talking about what HE does for HIS own self care, which in a roundabout way IS his way of giving advice. I thought this was actually really great and telling, because sometimes self care is about being as self-centered as possible, shutting out everyone else’s needs and focusing on your own. So it ended up working great for the theme anyway, and the song evolved from Angels and Devils Arguing on Your Shoulder into a sort of meditation on what self-care means to each of these speakers.
When mixing this, Cecil asked me, “Is the beat for Self Care supposed to be so depressing?” It kind of just turned out that way. He pointed out the contrast between the lyrical content and the very minor key. The composition was a simple bass line I had written, which Mikal kHill edited slightly by switching it around a bit, and then produced in full. Because of the sounds and instruments he used, it ended up sounding quite gloomy. But I think it works for where it’s located in the album, because narratively, the protagonist is at a low point. They’re lost, confused and stagnant because of things like phone addiction, career anxiety and personal addictions eating them up, and they’re looking for solutions and a next step while in a very dark place.
What’s good y’all, Shubzilla here talking about my verse for LEX the Lexicon Artist’s Self Care.
This verse lists a lot of things that I would do to engage in healthy self care. Reading a book, having a bubble bath. A lot of times my sisters and I will talk about feelings of self-worth, of burnout. And it’s really important to remind ourselves that you are worth a damn, and you’ve accomplished so much that you can afford to take however long you need to recharge yourself, so that you can be present for yourself, your friends, your family, and your community.
So whenever Lex asked me to do Self Care Hell Yeah, I was working at a really toxic work environment and I was super fucking over it, and I knew I was on my way out, so that sort of fueled the entire verse. The irony of Self Care Hell Yeah is it definitely also deals with a lot of negative coping mechanisms I have, from drinking to dealing with anger. So yeah, that whole line, the best line in the verse is the line where it’s like, “On any given moment don’t wanna go to the office, call every manager tell them to suck two dicks. Neither mine.” Like, that epitomized how I felt at the time, and the song was a really great release for that.
And thus concludes this Alter Ego: Explained. Now go do some self care!
LEX the Lexicon Artist combines Internet culture, fandom, punk ethos, and shock humor (not the mean kind) to create an over-the-top explosion of nerdy, dirty, funny raps.
Soul-searching hip-hop from this Florida rapper, with lyrics that dig deep and take an unflinching look at life’s questions. Bandcamp New & Notable May 1, 2023
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